In my Opinion…

Don’t Sell Yourself Short: How To Invest in a “Happy Moments” Folder

Introduction

Some of the best and most influential advice I have been given in navigating adult work/school life is to create a “happy moments” folder. I first heard of the idea during a webinar for an alumni group I am a part of, and I loved the idea.

In a world where toxic positivity (or whatever you want to call it these days) runs rampant on the internet, and when social media aims to make everyone’s life look perfect, it can make you and your life feel, well, not-so-perfect. I know personally that this feeling extends into many facets of life, and unfortunately, even your career can become a victim to it.

Maybe you are the youngest person in your office, or maybe you have been there for some time. I don’t think that imposter syndrome always hinges on age, and likely, it doesn’t even hinge on one’s experience. I think that is what makes imposter syndrome particularly lethal to an individual’s confidence; that even having a lot of experience/knowledge in a particular career field can cause you to feel insecure about yourself and your abilities.

The whole concept of imposter syndrome is that it is your mind playing tricks on you and your abilities, and makes you feel like you aren’t capable of something. Ironically, you probably would not even have achieved what you have thus far if you actually were not capable, but your anxiety won’t tell you that. I guess we can collectively have some calmness in knowing a lot of people go through this right? Well, not necessarily calm, but maybe some comfort. Because so many people have experienced imposter syndrome, there have become techniques to help one in overcoming this feeling.

The “happy moments” or “achievements” folder, whatever you want to call it, is one of those techniques that I have found helped myself and my confidence immensely. The idea is to screenshot any positive emails that praise you and your accomplishments, your favorite writing pieces, an email from a happy customer, a positive Yelp review, etc. anything that disapproves of your anxiety that you are not good enough. Everyone’s “happy moments” folder will look different depending on need and career, but the beauty of it is that it does work (in my opinion). It also does more than just reminding you that you are good at your job on an off day. Overtime, it can become a tool for advocating for yourself in the workplace. Regardless of gender, anyone can use this tool for the workplace. If you have been wanting to ask your boss for a raise, an extra WFH day, or whatever else you want to negotiate with someone and are too scared to do, pull up your folder and show them the proof of your hard work. You can show your boss your accomplishments to get that raise; emails from happy clients, praise from co-workers, etc. It is one thing to communicate to your employer your workplace successes, but it is another thing to show proof that your hard work has paid off.

I strongly believe in being my own cheerleader instead of waiting for somebody else to do it, and this is the perfect way to start. If you can’t celebrate your successes and hard work, how do you expect others to?

So, whether you want a raise at work, an extra WFH day, or just want to re-gain your confidence in the workplace, I urge you to make one of these folders for your desktop. Maybe you already have something like this already, and hopefully I could provide some insight into the topic and more ideas on how to put it to work It may feel silly at first, but truthfully, whenever I am feeling like I am not good enough for something, I take a look at my folder and remind myself that that is just my anxiety talking, because the proof is in the pudding ladies and gents. Your anxiety can not lie to you when you have concrete evidence of your work and achievements to look at.

-Natalie

 How Pageants + Modeling Prepared Me For the Professional World

introduction

You might be surprised to read the title and find the words “modeling” “pageants” and “professional” in the same line. I know, the media has had a frenzy in the past few years with portraying pageant girls in a certain light (we all know the Youtube video about the on stage question I’m referring to) and countless atypical modeling shows have also premiered and shown this industry poorly as well.

That being said, I would have to say that in every interview, coffee meeting, and/or Zoom workshop that I have attended, I think back to how these two experiences have shaped me the most profoundly to prepare me for the professional world.

Let’s start with modeling since I already touched on that in my last post. Modeling teaches you a type of professionalism that simply can not be taught in school. Like I said before, as a model you essentially need to sell yourself, and in order to do this, you need to know who you are and what type of modeling you are capable of. You constantly have to network with other photographers, videographers, designers, etc. and you often have to deal with conflicting schedules, last minute requests, and a lot of thinking on your feet. You will also get pretty good at reading contracts in their entirety if you are a model. There are a lot of contracts involved in modeling. Read the whole thing.

Pageants was the most notable of the experiences I had that shaped my professional career however.

The most obvious factor being, at each pageant (of the ones I competed in at least), part of your score is determined by your private interview. You submit a resume months in advance that gets distributed to the panel of judges that you will speak to at the pageant. The interviews are typically held before the judges will ever see you on stage on one of the rehearsal days. You walk into a room of 4-6 judges who fire questions at you for 3-10 minutes. The shorter the interview, the worse honestly because you have very little time to prove yourself vs. in a longer interview when you can answer more questions and have more time to elaborate on each answer. The 3-minute interview is in reference to the USA pageant system (i.e. Miss Universe) from when I competed in Miss Colorado Teen USA and Miss Colorado USA. Before the pageant, you can get a book filled with 100’s of questions to prepare for the interview. You should prepare with a combination of the random questions from the book and your personal resume.

The judges can ask you anything, and it is the best thing I have done to learn how to think on my feet quickly. They will also carefully inspect your resume, finding the most niche of topics you have on there (trust me, you do not want to stretch any information on a pageant resume, or any resume for that matter). The pageant resume tip I learned in high school from a coach I had for one of the pageants taught me the key to interview success. When they ask you in the last 30 seconds a completely random, seemingly pointless question like, “What is your favorite color?” or “If you were an animal, what animal would you be?”

They are not asking you what your favorite color is or what animal you would be if you were an animal.

They want a story. They want you to twist that answer into something interesting, that tells a story. You may know this already, or might not, but in high school this concept blew my mind. I always felt so confused when the judges had a whole list of my accomplishments sitting in front of them, and they chose to ask me what my favorite color or favorite dish was. Initially it made me feel like I was uninteresting or unimportant, but really they want to see how well you can think on your feet and handle stress in high-pressure situations, as well as show creativity. If a pageant judge were to ask me one of these questions today like, “What is your favorite color?” I would probably answer, “Green. Because green represents growth and renewal, and I see myself as someone always working to change, grow and set new goals. My current goal is to learn how to golf, which represents my growing interest towards a new sport and how I am always looking to improve my athleticism and social skills.” Something like that.

In the USA system you have 1.5 minutes with each panel. You walk into the room with another girl, side by side, and do not make any eye contact with the judges. After entering the room, you stand and face the other contestant in the middle and exchange nervous glances and mutter “Good luck!” to each other. A bell rings, signaling the beginning of your first interview and you turn around and sit down and face the first panel of judges. They rapid fire questions at you and the bell dings again before you can even catch your breath. You get up and face the other contestant in the middle of the room again, a bell rings, and you sit in front of the second panel of judges and have another 1.5 minutes to explain to them why you should be the title holder essentially.

In the Miss America system, the interviews are slightly different, as well as the Miss Collegiate America system. I have competed in Miss Colorado Outstanding Teen as Miss Highlands Ranch’s Outstanding Teen in high school, and as Miss Boulder Collegiate in the Collegiate system. In both of these systems you have a longer interview, I believe 5-8 minutes depending on the pageant. They expect you to elaborate more and you have to have a very good answer as to why you want to be the title holder. Some pageants allow you to pick your own organization/philanthropy/non-profit to speak on, others have one you will speak on when you win, so you have to do your research prior to be able to speak on their organization and how you will promote it and be a good addition.

Upon the preparation you do for the interview portion by perfecting your resume and practicing mock interviews, you also have to keep the on stage question in mind. The on stage question is feared by some, and loved by most. Of my fellow pageant friends, none of us loathe the on stage question as much as you would think and for me, it was actually one of my favorite components of the pageants that included it in the preliminary competition. The on stage question is the best way to scare off any public speaking qualms you may have. Trust me, once you can do this you really won’t be scared by much.

The key to these questions is to take a stance. That’s it. Just one.

The worst thing you can do on this question is to be wishy-washy, take one side then the other and confuse the judges. The absolute worst is to take no stance at all, and to not even answer the question. While this option can sometimes work, it often fails if you can not fully and accurately explain your answer. Here’s an easy example, I remember one year a teen contestant had the question, “Do you think that all schools should have a uniform, why or why not?” In this question you want to answer yes or no. So, if you start by saying something like, “Yes, because when all students wear uniforms it makes all students equal and could potentially cut down on school bullying” but then go into “on the other hand, school uniforms strip an individual of their personality and individual style” etc. you have lost the question. Even if you are on stage and believe one side, but could also argue the other, don’t. They want a solid, affirmative stance that shows you are confident in your answer. So pick one side and stick with it, even if you believe in the other side too.

While the judges are supposed to stray away from overtly political questions, I won’t lie to you, this almost never happens. Politics have become intricately intertwined into most conversations these days, like it or not, and one judge always asks a question that makes the audience think, “Dear God how is she going to answer that in a politically correct manner?”

For example, one year I remember one of the Miss contestants got a question about the legalization of medical marijuana (this happens a lot in Colorado pageants I’ve noticed). The problem with these overtly political questions is, you are damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It is a question that often sets the contestant up for failure, because like it or not, the judges are human and have some kind of political bias even if they do not consider themselves to. So, these questions are tough, because you have to answer it, on stage, in front of 100’s of people, lights beaming down, and like I said, take a stance, (either pro or con) and the judges either will or will not agree. 

This was just a brief overview of pageant interviews and some tips here and there that I have learned specifically from competing in them that hopefully will help other people get some ideas on how to think on their feet and answer any potential trick questions during an interview. Always remember to take a stance in answering overt pro/con questions (this shows confidence and poise) and be careful to look out for any questions that seem pointless/like time fillers, they may or may not be. But, interviewers (or in this case judges) watch and listen to everything, so I would rather take a question like “What is your favorite day of the week?” seriously then to try to brush it off looking for better questions. You have no idea the underlying reason an interviewer may ask you a question. It could be harmless and they may just be trying to get to know you. But, I urge you to take it one step further and give them a well thought out answer instead of one or two words to keep the conversation moving. Bottom line, they are asking you that question for a reason, whatever it may be. Don’t speculate too much, but remind yourself, they asked me this for a reason, I am going to give it my best shot and relate it back to my values/work ethic/past experience/etc. and be confident in my answer.

Hopefully after reading this you have some insight into how pageant interviews really go and why some things in life (for me modeling) can actually prepare you for the professional world in more uncanny ways than the obvious ones, like a pageant interview. So, I encourage you to look at your own hobbies and personal interests and ask yourself how these, too, have shaped you to enter the professional world. If you are having trouble making the comparison, ask yourself what activities would help propel you into your goal career that you may not already be a part of.

-Natalie